Anything for a Jew
by Ken Wartooth
Summary: The one I love has been taken away from me. I can't let that fatass win! I will get Kyle back, no matter what. - K2 with a hint of Kyman, the ultimate fanfiction for fangirls.
1. Rising Love Menace?

It was morning. I woke up in my bed as usual, then got ready from another day at South Park Elementary. I went to the bus stop, where it was suprisingly only me and Stan.

He looked at me and greeted me with a smile. "Oh, hey Kenny."

"Hey, Stan. You know where Eric and Kyle are?", I said in my muffled voice from my hoodie.

Stan looked at me in a worried way. It seemed he didn't know either. "No, dude. I didn't hear anything from Kyle."

Something isn't right here. Stan and Kyle have always been best friends. If it's something he can't let Stan know about, I wonder what it could be. We stood silenty at the bus stop. I assumed they were out sick.

When we arrived at the school, we went to the classroom. We looked over at Eric and Kyle's seats, and there they were. They didn't seem to have been arguing like usual. I don't know weather to be suspicious or glad that there's no conflict. Should I have said something about them not being at the bus stop?

Stan went up to Cartman. "Hey fatass, why weren't you with us this morning?" Oh no, I thought. I had a feeling that this wouldn't end well.

"HEY!", Eric started. "It's none of your goddamn business where I was, and i'm not fat!"

Just as Stan was about to come out with a comeback, Kyle came up and tapped Eric's shoulder. "Don't you pick on Stan, Cartman!", and just like that, Eric stopped. This was even weirder than I imagined it would be.

Class ended, and we all went out to recess. Stan, Kyle, Eric, and Butters were playing flag football with Craig, Token, Tweek, and Clyde. I sat out in the game. I couldn't get my mind off of how different Eric and Kyle were acting. Well Kyle wasn't acting much different than usual, but Eric... As I was getting lost in thought, I heard two female students talking to eachother at the playground. I recognized one of the voices as Bebe's.

"Did you hear about Eric Cartman and Kyle Broflovski?", Bebe said in a teasing manner.

The other girl replied, also teasing. "I know, right? The nazi and the jew. Who would have guessed?"

"I can't believe they're going out." The girls walked off, laughing.

Just then, something snapped inside of me. My Kyle was dating that fatass? I couldn't let Eric have him. I was fine with him getting what he wanted, but not this time. I knew I couldn't confront Eric directly. He would hold my family being poor against me or say that I won't be able to beat him in a fight because i'm poor. I know how Eric's mind works. If only I could take back my Kyle with no way of him knowing what was coming, no way of knowing who I was...that's when it hit me.

I went on home after school ended. I passed by my parents, who were drinking in the living room, and went up to my room. I got out my old Mysterion outfit. I'm glad I kept it when me and Karen were at the foster home. It seems that, just as no one remembers me dying, every day is the same. No one recalls what happened the day before except only occasionally. No one seems to recall being superheros or the great Cathullu's awakening. Eric would not recognize me as being Mysterion, just as he does not even remember himself being the Coon.

The next day, I went to the bus stop as usual. Stan was still unaware of the situation between Eric and Kyle. I decided not to let him in on this. Class went by pretty fast, and it was time. When we all went to recess, Eric and Kyle were playing Texans V.S, Mexicans against Stan and Craig. I went up to the bathroom on the second floor and changed into my Mysterion costume. I jumped out of the window and landed myself in between Eric and Kyle.

"That's enough!", I blurted out in a deep voice, looking at Eric.

Eric stood there, trying to grasp what just happened. "D-dude! Where the fuck did you come from!"

I replied. "That should be none of your concern. All I ask of you is that you give up Kyle Broflovski."

"Why the fuck would I give him up!"

I faught Eric, just as I did Jessica Pinkerton back at Greeley Elementary, and beat him. As he feel to the floor of the playground, I noticed people gathering around us. I answered his question.

"It's because, Eric, you can't have Kyle Broflovski. He belongs to me."

Everyone was shocked, but most of all, Kyle. "Dude...Who..who are you?", Kyle asked me.

"Me?", I started, as I turned around to face him. "I am...Mysterion. I will win you back from Eric Cartman."

Well, that ends part 1. I promise I will come out with part 2, so please look foward to it! ^^ 


	2. Confrontation

The next day, I woke up in my bed just like any other day. It felt as if yesterday was only a dream. I guess for my sake, I hope it was. I put on my hoodie and went to the bus stop. Of course, Eric was the only one pissing off about what happened.

"Goddammit! The nerve of that guy! Who does he think he is? You won't seriously let that douche take you, right Kahl?...Kahl?"

No matter how hard he tried to hide it, I could tell Eric's usual confidence was fading. Now that I think about it, Kyle hasn't said anything about this yet. I have to find out what he's thinking. I can't just come up and ask him. For all they know, I wasn't there.

Eric paused his ranting and turned to look at me. "Hey Kenny, where were you at recess yesterday? I was gonna ask you to play Texans V.S. Mexicans with us. Don't tell me you knew and tried to j- I mean, get out of it."

I could tell he was about to use his "jew your way out of it" expression he always uses. He doesn't want Kyle to leave him. He's really trying. I had to come up with something to stall him asking where I was. I see the bus coming from afar. I take a breath, as if I was about to answer. The bus arrives at the bus stop and I go in.

"Goddammit, Kenny!"

When we got to Mr. Garrison's class and sat in our seats, I could hear Eric calling out for me.

"Kenny. You know we're still gonna play today, right?"

"Yeah, dude. We need you to play with us 'cause Cartman always cheats," Stan added.

Eric looked at Stan angrily. "AY! I don't cheat. I just always win because the Texans are better!"

I just sat there and let them argue. I'm glad the focus wasn't on me, anymore. I had to admit, it was fun to watch. The class went by as it normally would, Eric and Stan argueing and Kyle stopping it. We went to recess, where Eric, Stan, Kyle, and I met up at the same place they played it yesterday.

Eric looked to me. "Ok Kenny, you get to be a mexican with Stan because your family's poor."

"Hey, why do I get to be the mexican with Kenny?", Stan asked.

Eric tried to respond but he couldn't. I knew he wanted to spend more time with Kyle. I wanted to do something, but I couldn't.

Stan waited for a moment and then answered for him. "I get it, let's just get on with it already."

After recess, we went home. My dad bought a toaster with the money he made from catching fish, so today our waffles weren't frozen. When my mom tucked me in bed and left my room, I got out of bed and changed into my Mysterion costume. I went to the window of Kyle's room, and opened it. I saw Eric laying there asleep on the floor. I guess he wanted to "protect" Kyle from me so he stayed over. He should've known he couldn't stay awake. I jumped out of his window and got on his bed.

"Kyle...Kyle, i'm here."

Kyle slowly woke up. "Who...Mysterion?"

"Yes Kyle," I answered. "I'm here for you."

Kyle had a look of uncertainty on his face. I can tell he still loves Eric, so I leaned in close up to his face.

"M-mysterion, what are you d-doing?," Kyle called out, trying to not wake Eric up.

I removed my face mask. "What I always wanted to, Kyle."

I leaned in to kiss him, but Eric showed up behind me. I look over to the floor where I was lead to believe he was sleeping, and saw it was a dummy.

"I knew you would come for him. So, what now "Mysterion"? I caught you."

I only could stand there with my eyes wide, thinking of how he would react if he found out who I was. Kyle sat up on his bed, gently pushing me aside. Instead of fear, I now felt confusion.

Kyle looked at Eric and said, "Don't you touch him, Cartman!"

Eric froze for a moment. I bet he was just as shocked as I was. "What Kahl, you're defending this asshole?"

"He might be an asshole to you, Cartman, but not to me."

Kyle then turned to look at me next. I couldn't tell what he was going to do. He leaned in towards me and kissed me himself.

Eric looked even more shocked. "Well fine, Kahl! Be that way. You don't even know who he is, but you love him? That is beyond weak, Kahl. Whatever, i'll let you make your own choices."

Eric left Kyle's house through the window I had left open, and slammed it shut. I then looked at Kyle and smiled. I didn't know how Kyle felt about me, but I do now. Kyle leaned in towards me and started pulling off the rest of my mask.

Kyle whispered, "I'm sorry dude, but I have to know who you are if i'm going to love you."

I understood what he meant by that. Any minute now, this mask will come off and he will know i'm Kenny McCormick. Am I ready for this? This is what I wanted...so why do I feel this way? Am I afraid that Kyle won't love me if he finds out i'm Kenny?


	3. New Love Blooms

No wait, I actually wanted this to happen all along. Even so, I felt as if it was too soon. I leaned in and kissed Kyle to distract him from unmasking me, but my mask fell off since it was already loose. I pulled back and looked into Kyle's wide eyes.

"D-dude...Kenny...This can't...this can't be hapening...," Kyle said, trying to get his words out.

I smiled with a bitter smile. "I'm sorry, Kyle..."

"Holy shit, dude..." Kyle put my mask back on. "You probably should go...my mom might come up here."

I thought for a moment. I was worried that Kyle might tell someone who I am. I bet I can trust him. "Alright, Kyle. I'll see you tomorrow."

I opened Kyle's window and escaped through it. "Goodbye, Kenny...:, I heard Kyle whisper. I couldn't tell what it was, but something about his voice told me he didn't want me to go.

The next day, I woke up with the sound of the doorbell. I never hear that when I first wake up, I wonder what it was. I heard my mom call out, "Kenny, your friend is here."

I got up and put on my hoodie. Friend? I went downstairs to see. "Hey Kenny, let's go. You'll be late for school." It was Kyle. What is he doing here?

As I was lost in thought, I didn't want Kyle to know i'm thinking about it too much. "Oh, sure thing Kyle," I casually replied as I left my house. I walked over to the bus stop with Kyle, and Stan and Eric were already there.

Eric looked over at Kyle. "Is THAT where you were, Kahl? What's so special about Kenny?"

"For your information, he happens to be our friend too!" I can tell Kyle was careful to not let it slip about me.

"So what, Kahl? You were supposed to be with me this morning. You'd rather be with that poor asshole than me?"

"Cut it out, Cartman. Kyle doesn't have to be with you all the time." Stan was actully standing up for us, even though he doesn't know about Kyle and Eric dating, or about me. I guess he;s just naturally a good friend.

When we got to school, Kyle appeared by my locker. "Kenny, we kinda need to talk...about last night..."

What more would Kyle need to say about it? "I guess we can talk at recess, as long as Eric or Stan isn't with us."

We walked over to Mr. Garrison's class and sat in out seats. I heard Eric's voice. "Pssst! Kahl, Kenny."

Kyle replied to him before I could. "What do you want, fatass?"

"Stan said we could come over to his house to ditch, his parents are out of town."

"Only you would, Eric.", I said.

Butters looked over to us and joined in the conversation. "W-well I sure would go with Eric."

"Ya see, guys? Butters is a good friend.", Eric said, with his usual selfishness. "Ok, screw you guys, Stan, Butters and I'm goin' home."

The three of them leave. At least it makes it easier on me and Kyle to talk without them being there. After class, we met up at the teatherball court. Tweek and Craig were playing there, so we went over to the same court the four of us played on yesterday. It was only me and Kyle since Stan and Eric left.

"Kyle, what did you want to talk to me for?", I asked, not understanding why he would bring it up.

Kyle started to talk, or at least try to. "Well...Kenny...I...about last night..." Kyle took a deep breath to calm himself to say it more clearly. "About last night...I..kinda thought you were cool."

"Cool?"

"Y-yeah..." Kyle looked at and leaned in towards me.

I was scared, but only because I can never tell what he's going to do. He leaned in closer to me and pressed his lips against mine. After a moment of shock, not expecting Kyle to come up to me himself, I gave in and willingly returned the favor by sliding my tongue in his mouth. Kyle pulled back, breathing heavily. After he caught his breath, I tried to ask him why he did it, but I already knew the answer.

Because I knew what Kyle was thinking, I gave him a warm hug. "It's alright, Kyle. Everything's going to be okay..."

I stood there, holding Kyle to cry in my arms. I can imagine how he feels. He loves Eric..and me. He can't love both. I guess I had to let him make this call for himself. No matter how much I love Kyle, he needs to do this without my influence. That's why I gave him my phone.

Kyle asked, puzzled, "Huh? Kenny, what do you want me to do with this?"

I replied with a bitter tone. This is when Kyle will decide one and for all who he wants to be with. "Make the call...you can either call Eric, or embace me. What do you want, Kyle?"

Kyle looked at the phone I tossed him in deep thought. I knew this would be a tough decision to make. He then looked at me with a smile and tossed my phone aside. Before I could say anything, Kyle ran into my arms. I wrapped my arms around him.

-THE END-


End file.
